Dating beyond your 20s is challenging at the best of times. As a single woman, it can also be quite scary. As much as I want to believe everyone is good, there are guys online with less than good intentions. Since, my physical and emotional wellbeing are of the utmost importance, a safe environment for meeting people was something I was looking for.
But I didn’t want it to just be any people and I didn’t want it to be in hopes of landing a date. They had to be fun people. People who were open and not judgemental. People who wouldn’t lie about who they are. I know, I’m asking for a little much right? How about we go with people who are fun and most of them are open, non-judgemental and don’t lie. Does that sound a bit more realistic?
Somehow, poking around online I found Meetups and through Meetups, I found the Ducklings. I read their Meetup page and then went and read their web site. Definitely sounded like some fun activities.
I dragged my friend G with me to a monthly Meetup at the Prescott. Don’t get me wrong, I am no shrinking violet. But I wanted someone to come along so I could have a discussion afterward and get another perspective. It’s always better to have another pair of eyes and a different mindset to get a better picture on any situation.
My first Meetup was OK. WHAT??? Who would ask me to write an article if I wasn’t going to say how fantastic everything was??? Well, I figure its best to tell the truth. And there is some pretty sound logic that I believe is very valuable to anyone looking to maybe attend a Meetup or join the Ducklings. So keep reading, I promise it will make sense.
So, it was OK. The people at my table were OK. The game was OK. It was all OK. I will be honest and say that I did expect something that felt a bit sexier. Doing vibrator races is not what I would describe as sexy, but certainly funny and not something many groups could pull off with ease. Not everyone was as relaxed talking about sex and ‘playing’ with vibrators but at least you could talk about sex without having to whisper. And it was just a Meetup to get a feel for what the Ducklings are about.
I also had to stop and remember that many people were coming here to start their journey of exploring sex and sexuality. Not everyone was at the same place in their journey and the need to respect everyone’s comfort level at a Meetup and keep it fun but informative is likely key to the group.
Despite my ‘OK’ assessment of my first Meetup, I was definitely interested in some of the events the Ducklings had coming up so a few days later, I joined the Ducklings and signed up for a few events.
Then the next month rolled around and since I was now a member, the monthly Meetup was free so I thought why not! I went to the Prescott again – on my own this time. And here it is people. The reason I told you my first time was OK. Aside from Sue and Blaik and a few of their helpers, it was a totally different crowd. Not a single person seemed familiar from the first time I went. And that meant the vibe was different. It felt more upbeat and fun. The people at my table were more engaging. The game was more fun. It was definitely a better fit for me this time.
I’ve also attended two Duckling events – one for members and one open to anyone. Both were interesting for sure. One was definitely more fun and sexy. Personally, I like the fun and sexy events a bit more than the informative ones but that’s just me. So I’ve signed up for 3 more fun and sexy events and taken a pass on a couple of informative/learning events. But again, that’s just me and what I’m looking for and what I enjoy doing.
My point is, every Meetup and every event is going to be a different mix of people and have a different vibe or feel. For me, what makes something fun or exciting is likely different than you. And the kind of people I have the most fun with or enjoy talking to are quite possibly different than who you find engaging. So if you are thinking that the Ducklings might be ‘your people’, please don’t judge by attending just one event. Come out to a couple of events/Meetups and see how you feel. They really do have something for everyone provided you are looking for something a little bit beyond…